It has been way to long since I have written my thoughts for the "world" to see. I really did mean to do this with more regularity. I was off to such a magnificent start ;-)! THEN...life got in the way!! Don't you dislike it when life crowds out your "want to" with the "have to"??!?! I know I do!! My "want to" was to blog weekly; my "have to" was to go back to work, to get back to all the "stuff" that I didn't do while I was recuperating from shoulder surgery and rotator cuff repair. I had to get back to the routine of life.
Busy-ness, some of it necessary to live, some of it just distraction, but all of it LIFE!
Each time my "write blog" weekly reminder appeared on my calendar I said to myself; "I will get to that, BUT first I have to..." One week turned into two, then it turned into thirteen!! Time flies when you're doing LIFE! So LIFE and the BUTS won. Thus, here I am on May 2 ready to write, eager to write, needing to write. I haven't stopped writing; my journal is proof of that. However, Journal writing and blog writing are two different venues for me. Both important to me. Both a source of opportunity to maintain sanity (or insanity-depending on your perspective ;-). Both an avenue of release and creativity. Both therapeutic and a source of comfort, sometimes discomfort-depending on the day, topic and Holy Spirit!
The differences are minor and few, yet important. My journal is a "want to" activity that I do as I am moved, as I study the Word, as I live life, with no restraints, no deadlines, no spell-check, no is this worth reading, no this is too short or this is too long, no "have to". The Blog on the other hand, is similar, yet I made it a "have to" by putting a deadline on myself, which is a necessary need for my OCD and my ease of distraction. The problem arises when life steps up with all it's interruptions, fun, family, work, and the never ending call of; "But first I have to..."
There isn't a thing wrong with priorities of life. For me they are so very necessary to ORDER. Oh how I love order. Order in creativity; that sounds like an oxymoron, but for me it is who I am. Even as I write in this moment, I have my calendar open on my right, my journal right beside it and my Kindle Bible to my left. All the items that equate ORDER for me!!
You may be wondering where I am going with this??? Actually, I am wondering that too :-D! Hmmm, let's see...I guess what I am feeling, experiencing and trying to convey is that all too often I let LIFE dictate my decisions, priorities, "have to" moments! When I really should be dictating to LIFE MY decisions, priorities, "Have to" moments! I need to not allow LIFE to crowd out my "want to" activities; like time in God's Word, spending fun time with family(not just co-existing in the same home, town or world),Sushi Saturday, baseball, motorcycle riding, blog writing and any "Want to" that I have deemed as important at one time or another.
There is a saying; "IF you don't know where you are going, don't worry someone will TELL you where to go!". In other words if YOU don't have a plan for your life, don't worry someone has one FOR you! I think I am safe in translating it this way; "If you don't have a plan for LIFE, don't worry LIFE has a plan for you!" Don't misunderstand me here; I am not saying that you have to live by a detailed, minute to minute schedule for every day of your life. Trust me in this, I've tried that route a long time ago and it DOES NOT WORK!!! That regimen only breeds frustration and failure. What I AM saying is that we all need to make time for our "Want to" moments buy deciding that Life will not overtake us. We have to proclaim that LIFE will not bully us, distract us or push us around!
If you are feeling a bit overwhelmed with life, pressured by it through the "have to" moments crowding out the "want to" activities. If you are standing by as a spectator to your own life, watching the "have to" list erase one by one your "want to" entries, then it is time to join me in a reassessment of our lives. IF I were a conspirator, I would say that LIFE has a sutle conspiracy in place to lull us into "have to" complacency. Slowly but surely, the "want to" moments disappear. IF we are not careful we find ourselves with memory loss of the "want to" and move into a routine of mindless "have to" robotics of each day.
So my question is; Am I going to let the "have to" list win?? NO! Today I am declaring war on the "Have to", on the "BUTS" (lol) of my life!!! Of course their is ORDER in routine, but routine cannot rule me! Routine will be my conduit of ORDER and the avenue to accomplish my "Want to". My "BUTS" will be the means, NOT the end of my "want to". LIFE will not control me! I will control LIFE with the Wisdom of God, the power of the Resurrection of Christ and the guidance of the Holy Spirit! SO watch out "have to" I am going to kick your "BUT"!!!!!
Enjoy the Journey,
Laura
